Final evaluation
meaning in perceived chaos
I feel that the final outcome of my project was as close to what was outlined in the project proposal as I could have achieved, I think it was a very good opportunity for me to explore and experiment with the more artistic elements of film and media production. Making a more expressive peace like this is something I have wanted to do for a long time but I had always struggled to find a way to do it because I have never been particularly skilled in traditional art disciplines such as drawing and painting but technology has always been something I've understood so exploring video installation art has been a breakthrough for me and has given me a medium to communicate my thoughts and feelings. Going forward I would like to create a similar installation piece developing on what I learned from this project and I would like to show it to more people as I think this was a missed opportunity with the showing for my FMP, I would have liked to get more feedback and to see more interaction with the piece.
The direction of my project was very heavily directed by my interest in ambient music and recent discovery of destructive tape loops, this then prompted further research in to ‘disintegration loops’ (2002) album that was produced by William Basinski, the album became well known due to its dedication to the survivors of the 9/11 attacks with Basinski saying in the postscript “the events gave new meaning to the musical pieces created by catastrophic decay in my studio a few weeks before.” This gave me the concept of taking chaotic entropy and being able to find a meaning trough repeating patterns and themes that present themselves in the static and grain.
I was also able to apply this to processing and representing what I was experiencing in my own life, after several big life events including a sudden unexpected end to a long term relationship that meant I was trying to find a way to process what had happened and what direction my life was now moving, with the repeating patterns representing revisiting the thoughts over and over again in my head trying to find meaning. Another big influence from my research was Stan Brakhage and his films, mothlight (1963) and Dante Quartet (1987), both of these films share the fact that there were produced on film without the use of a camera which means traditional film grammar and composition are thrown out for this idea of ‘perceived’ chaos with most people on their first watch likely to say that they are just a jumble of colour, but, after watching it again looking closely at the repetition and recurring but evolving themes the viewer can begin to draw meaning and a narrative from the film. Both of these concepts were combined in my project with the concepts of drawing meaning from randomness from the work of Brakhage and using the unpredictable destruction of the music produced by Basinski to take the evolution and degradation of the visual out of the control of the creator to represent how i had no control on what was happening in my life and could only observe and try to understand.
I feel that the planning and production for this project went very well with little having to change from the original production schedule, I think it was due to the fact I didn't have to rely on actors or other collaborators and crew which meant the only thing stopping me from meeting deadlines would have been my own motivation Rather than having to work around or being let down by other people. I think the only thing I would change about my production is I would have allowed a date for assembling and testing the installation several weeks before the final showing as I had tested all of the parts individually but had to solve unforeseen problems on the day because I had no tested the work as a whole.
On of the things I have struggled with throughout the project was finding a way to digitally represent my work and communicate the experience from on the day to people ‘outside of the room’, i eventually decided the best way to do sith was with an unedited 45 minute video of the installation running in the space although this rather hypocritically goes against the idea I wanted to represent by making it an installation piece, that of being able to break out of the typical 4:3 frame that we consume everything through in modern day society. The original intention was to shift focus away from what was being shown on the screen and towards the way in which it was produced using analog techniques and what the physicality of it represents and I feel that that element as lost when the experience of being in the physical real space was flattened put back in to the 4:3 box for ease of consumption.
I really enjoyed this project and I would like to do more like this in the future, i feel like trough this project i have found a good way to express my artistic feelings and finding this medium has helped me to work through and understand a lot of the issues I have been struggling with.i am hoping to continue working on similar pieces and i more to brighton and start uni and hopefully will be able to find a space where I can show my work to a wider audience.